Every so often, I fall prey to caring about what society says. Honestly, it doesn't happen all that much. I'm usually pretty okay with being an individual, but hey! we all want a little validation now and again, am I right? Unfortunately, most of the time, when I start to care about what society says, it usually just ends with me feeling like crap about myself. Case in point...
I am not a leader. I do not want to be a leader. I have no crowd asking me to lead. It seems like this is working for everyone involved. But if you look a little closer, you'll realize that society tells us that only leaders are worthwhile, and that is the only reason (according to what you hear in general society) to pay attention and/or give time to children: because they are the leaders of tomorrow.
But... you know that cliche... which apparently no one believes... about having too many chiefs and not enough Indians? (queue the P.C. police now) Well. I actually do believe that. And I'm actually pretty solidly happy being an Indian. For those of you that don't know, I actually wanted to be an Indian when I was a child. Like not for Halloween. It's what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was beyond bummed when I realized that being a so-called native American was part of your DNA and not a career option.
So, imagine my enthusiasm when I examined my life and found that I am a metaphorical Indian. Well, my enthusiasm was actually not very high because I don't usually get that excited about anything, even things that I care a lot about. Still. I am an Indian.
When Billy and I were doing some marriage counseling several years ago, one of the things that we learned is that more people in America test as "phlegmatic" or lazy. There are actually lots of really good qualities to phlegmatics. Being lazy is just a part of it. So, I figured that if I feel inadequate by society's preferences for leaders, and most Americans are not naturally leaders by personality, then there are probably many people who feel some sort of societal pressure to be something they are not, when what we really need anyway are more good followers.
So, I present... after that obnoxiously long introduction... my short list of encouragement for followers.
1. Being a follower makes a leader great.
By definition a leader cannot lead if s/he has no followers. This should be pretty straight forward. Therefore, by following someone, you are contributing to that person's potential for greatness. They would not be a great leader if you were not there to follow.
2. Being a follower can be a very intellectually stimulating pursuit.
Sometimes, the word "follower" is used in a derogatory sense, particularly with kids in the bad crowd. I know my husband and I have talked about whether our kids would do okay in the public schools and decided that for now, they would not because they are "followers."
But followers can choose who to follow, and it is much like defining and refining a belief system. For an incredibly over-used and obvious example, consider Hitler. Many people followed him, and they were all presumably stupid.
But many people also followed Steve Jobs and... okay bad example... same conclusion as above.
But many people also followed Martin Luther King, Jr., and they were smart people.
Obviously, it's not this cut and dry. But you get the point... The followers can choose which leader they will follow by using their minds to reason through and understand their beliefs. The fact that many people follow without doing this doesn't undermine the value of following with doing this.
3. While we are following, chances are, we are still leading someone.
Most people have someone in their life that looks to them. For parents, it's obviously our children. But even for those without children, there are tons of opportunities for interpersonal relationships that often are not viewed by our culture as "leading" opportunities, but they absolutely are! There are new co-workers who will often look to the veterans for how co-workers interact in a particular company. There are neighbors who will put gutters on their house because they saw you do it, and there you are leading your part of town to care for their homes a little more and revitalize. (This is real life, people; it don't get better than this!)
And because I am only mildly passionate about anything, I have lost steam and will close with just one last thought -
THE END.
