Mother of the Year

Yesterday, a friend linked to an amazing story of a 16-year-old birth mom who exhibited the ultimate show of love.

Those of you who know me or have read my various blogs over the years know by now that the prolife cause is near and dear to my heart.  From a very young age, I realized the value of every human life and the horror that abortion is by its very nature of killing innocent babies.  I have spent time working as a volunteer counselor to help women explore their options, and I've reiterated here several times that most women do not approach abortion as a choice, but rather as their only option.

So many women don't realize the resources that are available to them, but even with finances aside, our culture continues to shove abortion down girls' throats because of the stigma that still goes with the process of adoption.  So a story like this one is a fabulous tool to change the culture of how we view motherhood.

But, hey... this is me... you know I can't just link to something and not give my 2 cents.  (Although, honestly, this story is so powerful, it doesn't need any further explanation.  However, this is me... and that has never stopped me before.)

So, the conservative message that we get from the pro-choice* side is that women should not be forced to ruin their lives because of a rape (less than 3% of abortions annually, by the way).  The more liberal derivation of this message is that women should not be forced to ruin their lives because of a pregnancy - period.  As in, whether it was consensual sex or not, no woman should be ever be forced to ruin their lives because of a choice they have made.

Wow... I kind feel redundant to even comment on this because that line of thinking is so obviously flawed, but since about half of Americans still think that abortion should be legal in some situations and 28% say it should be legal in all situations, there are obviously people out there that don't think through things.

The way I see it, there are two major ideas to be addressed when dealing with this mindset.

First, is the idea of ruining a life in the span of 9 months.  Let's think about this.  Are we so cynical in this world that we truly believe that having a hard time for 9 months is going to ruin our lives?  You know what? I hated pretty much every single year of public school that I had after 2nd grade, but did my life ever get ruined through that 9-month period?  No.  Why not?  Because I kept moving forward.  I sacrificed my time and my desires for 9 months, and then I got summer break.  Only to have to do something that I didn't want to do all over again for another 9 months.

I realize going to school seems like a trite example compared to all the difficulties of pregnancy.  Trust me, I know.  I had 2 difficult pregnancies and then decided that I never wanted to be pregnant again, even though I still wanted more kids (hello... adoption!).  But the point is that 9 months does not ruin a woman's life.  If the hardship endured for 9 months of pregnancy ruins a woman's life, then the bigger problem is her coping skills, her problem-solving skills, her ability to take advantage of the opportunities that lay before her.  Yet, here we are, telling her that without any information about her body, her baby, or available resources, she is the best one to make a decision about the situation.

Now, I certainly believe in personal freedoms.  But our freedoms can only go as far as not hurting those around us.  I am not free to punch whomever I feel like because freedom is not absolute.  When we are talking about harming another human being, we cannot simply let every person make their own decisions.  There are some things that we need to come together and say, "No... that's simply not okay.  In fact, it's so not okay, that we will make a law against it and lock you up if you do that."  Murder is one of those things.  And any honest scientist will tell you that abortion is killing a separate living human.  So, perhaps, instead of us telling her to go ahead and kill without education, we could be teaching her some decision-making skills and some study skills and some marketable job skills.  (Oh, wait... pro-lifers already do that.)

The second issue is this one about the stigma that still goes against moms who give their baby a stable loving home that just happens to have a different set of parents than the biological ones.  What does a woman have to do to prove that she loves her baby if not exhibit a humble heart and admit that she doesn't know how to care for a baby or even that having a baby will make life too hard for her.  Yes... having a baby makes things difficult.  Women who parent their babies from a young age need family and community support.  If they don't have that, then the likelihood of living in poverty skyrockets.  Why is it not okay to admit that?  And to say, "I don't want to live in poverty, and I don't want my child to live in poverty?"  Isn't that actually a very loving and responsible choice to make?  And if you can bless another family in the meantime... this is all win/win.  Why is there still a stigma over this?  These women should be heralded as heroes for their months of physical sacrifice, not to mention their years of emotional sacrifice.   Somewhere, there ought to be a mother of the year award to go to a woman who values her child enough to let her live in someone else's home, as someone else's family.

We need to ask ourselves how we define "good mom."

When it comes down to it, I understand that culture change is slow.**  And that's what we are dealing with.  We (as in prolifers) desire to see an educated people with critical thinking skills and compassion.  And that takes work.  It takes hard, long hours to mentor, to teach, to invest emotionally, to share, to become vulnerable, to love unconditionally.  And it's often thankless.  There are a lot of people out there who will take, take, take.  But we don't stop giving.  We trust the process and, yes, many of us trust the God who created life in the first place.  We don't take a woman's (or the taxpayer's) money and leave her to bleed on her own.  We walk beside her and offer whatever we know that will heal her wounds - both physical and emotional.

We aren't perfect in it, but we are trying. And when we fail, we (hopefully) apologize and start again.  Because every life is precious and 1,000,000 is too high a number to just shrug our shoulders and say, "oh well."

*See how generous I'm being? ... considering abortion supporters continually fight against bills that would educate about the biological facts of women's bodies, fetal development, and the resources available to enable choices of adoption and parenting.

**The good news is that while 50% of people still believe abortion should be legal in some situations, the last few years have seen the lowest percentage of Americans that identify themselves as pro-choice.  And that is a good start.

Work it, Girl!

If you read my last post, you knew to expect this one.  If there's one thing I'm not, it's unpredictable.  I'm a very predictable person.  So... here I am, as expected, telling you about my working out.

So, also as expected, I have some goals for my working out (and my eating habits, but I'm not really going to address that here... ooooohhh... could that be another post?  Will writing 4 times truly be that easy?  Or will something happen that acts as a deterrent with which I must deal shrewdly before I can finally emerge the victor? Stay tuned!).

Anyway...

Goal 1 - workout 6 days a week.  Since it's summer, this is actually pretty easy to accomplish because we have few obligations.  So, I want to take advantage of this now, seeing as how I don't really know what the school year will be like with all the kids gone.  If you don't know what I'm talking about then I have just one thing to say... did you even read my last post?

Goal 2 - lose belly fat and outer thigh fat.  I'm being realistic here.  I've never had thin inner thighs, and I've realized that I never will.  So, why even bother?

Goal 3 - keep a well-balanced workout routine... meaning that I need to have muscle work (does anyone else always pronounce "muscle" in a Popeye voice, or is that just me?), cardio, and stretching incorporated.

So here's my plan for the summer:

I found this great channel on YouTube called "XHit Daily" and they post a new video daily.  Looks like I'm not the only predictable one.  So, I just do whatever video they post for the day.  That way, I get lots of variety, but if I don't like the video I never have to do it again, which is pretty huge for me.  I have spent the last 2 years doing a video series of 12 videos that rotate through a calendar, and I liked 8 of them, but for some reason, it was impossible for me to skip the ones that I didn't like.  I felt like I needed to do them because they must be in the program for a reason.

After my XHit video (which can range anywhere from 7-25 minutes, also a good thing for me), I find an ab routine on YouTube.  I do abs every day because they are important and they can handle it, unlike some other muscles that need a break in between workings.

Then, I do a stretch video.  I just find a random one on YouTube.  No big deal.  I have a few that I've decided I like more than others, but I also like to mix it up to avoid boredom.  Every so often, I put on Pandora and stretch on my own, but as I'm not a very motivated person, I can only do with every so often.  I need that encouragement from a person on a screen who I have never and will never meet.  I don't want to let them down by not following along.  My main goal for stretching is to be healthy and eliminate pain, but I will also admit that I want to do this because I think it is hot.

(If you can't get enough of hearing about my fitness, might I direct you to this previous post about workout videos?  It appears I have a very limited repertoire of subject matter.)