A Fresh Start

It's Veteran's Day today, but to me, this is a New Year.

Last week, we enrolled our son into an intensive healing program at a ranch out of state. It feels a little weird to say that we sent him to boarding school because that's something for snooty rich people. I'd like to think that aren't snooty, and I know that we aren't rich.

But boarding school isn't cheap, even when it's a Christian ministry aimed at helping children with trauma and attachment issues heal. It's still a pricey endeavor, which means that this lady -- who hasn't worked outside the home much in the last 20 years -- will be returning to the workplace.

I'm starting by reaching out to attorneys I know to see if I can grow my freelance work. But I've also spoken to one of them about more consistent part-time work, which is a relief. Taking on the burden of the monthly tuition was a scary proposition, and I feel better to know that I have been able to secure some income.

But I digress.

This isn't really about work, though that is a part. This is about a fresh start, some resolutions, some goals.

It's hard to know where to start.

There are the easier goals to talk about - the working out, the eating healthy stuff. Ones that are safe.

Then, there are the ones that are harder. The healing that I have to do myself. The wrestling I have with where my disappointments lie and where my faith failed. The regrets, the "wish I had done that differently" aspects. The grief, the concessions, the "it was out of my hands before I even started" aspects.

And so, I enter a new time. My son is a thousand miles away for the foreseeable future. I have my charts -- my cleaning chart, my personal growth chart, my exercise schedule. I'm about as ready as I will be.

So, let's go.

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