I had intended to write sooner. I had all these end of 2013 reflections that kinda kicked me in the rear with a big, "Get moving, woman!" thrown in for good measure. I have many things that I'm seeking, many things that I'm thinking... many more that I haven't even begun to grasp.
But procrastination has been my companion these weeks. Not even that kind of procrastination that stems from the lack of motivation or a particular distaste for a given task. Rather, there is nothing this writer enjoys more than writing. Well, I can think of something, after all, but it's not really your business but I'm not too much of a prude to talk about it. I just think it would embarrass some of you, so I'm going to hint around the topic and carry on as if you knew what I'm talking about.
So, yes, to me, writing is a pastime. It's not simply the production of an end-product. It is the experience. It is the unveiling of my heart on paper. It is the exploration of my thoughts, the time when I myself only begin to understand what I think. It is the mean I use to know myself, to conduct logical exercises, to confirm my beliefs, to challenge my preconceived notions, and to share myself with those around me.
Yet I have forsaken it.
Because there is too little time and too much content. Those times when I have sat down to write have ended with ramblings, cursory glances at the myriad of topics bouncing around in my head. To say I scratched the surface would be generous. I merely realized that the surface existed. And perhaps that it was quite itchy.
And here is where I betray myself. Because I have too many directions to go from here to effectively communicate myself to you. How do you say something when you don't know what there is to be said?
So, I hope yet to take this desire for knowing myself and sharing myself and to come to some understanding about what I have of value to give to you. So, perhaps, I will be able to know what goals I have for the future by the time the Chinese New Year arrives. Because really... what's a new year except a page on a calendar? And what makes my new year more worthy of my offerings than one from the other side of the globe?
So... yes, that's what I will attempt (you see my hesitation, as if I don't even believe myself?)... to have a place to start... next week.
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